I got a call Tuesday night during Renee’s birthday party from the hospital.  A mother was there alone as doctors tried to save her boys life.  I sat with the family at the hospital as they learned that their 14 year old son had an accident and would probably die.  There is nothing more devastating than losing a child, especially when the last time you saw them, they were healthy and whole.

As the father came in to the waiting room and the doctor told him what would happen, he broke down sobbing, “it’s supposed to be me.  It’s supposed to be me.”  We prayed together and during the prayer he repeated over and over, “Please God, please.”  My heart ached for him and his wife.  I could only imagine how I would feel if it were Rhyann or Renee in that situation.

How do you survive that kind of a loss?   How do you make sense of what just happened?  Why?  Why?  Why?  Sudden loss is one of the greatest tests of who you are.  How can you overcome?  I want to look at that idea this morning.  If you were in this family’s shoes, how would you react?

PRAYER

I. In The Darkness of Despair

A. There is nothing worse than despair.

1. Most all of us have experienced great despair in our lives.

a) It saps us of life.
b) It saps us of energy.
c) It saps us of hope

2. In that darkness, it can often seem that no one can feel what you are feeling.
3. All you want is something to latch on to and find comfort in.

B. One of the great things about the Psalms, is that they express so many emotions that we can relate to.

1. David often talks about the despair in his life.

a) READ Ps 77:1-3

2. David also writes about how God helped him in those times.

a) READ Ps 10:14, 17

A. There are those that love you.

1. Heb 13 starts out by saying we need to love each other as brothers.
2. God wants us to love people has he has loved us.
3. The love we show has a huge impact on peoples lives.
4. When you see someone in despair, don’t just say, “be well”, but be there for them as Christ has done for you.
"One afternoon Betty picked up the phone and heard her mother say, `Betty, you need to fly out here tomorrow.  Your sister, her husband, and both children were killed in a car wreck and hour ago.'
    "Betty hung up the phone and turned to walk to her bedroom.  She couldn't find it.  She bumped into furniture and injured herself.  With blood trickling from her head, she sat on the hallway floor in a daze.  After a while she managed to call a friend.  `Hello, Rachel?  My sister and her family just got killed and I have to fly to New Jersey,' she said. `Can you help me?'
    "Betty sat in a living room chair and waited. A few minutes later the doorbell rang.  `I've come to pack your clothes,' Rachel said as Betty opened the door to her.  Rachel found some suitcases in the garage and selected appropriate assortments of clothing for Betty, her husband, and their daughter.  She spent two hours packing everything neatly.
    "During this time, Betty slowly regained her ability to think clearly.  Her husband and daughter would be home soon.  Rachel finished packing, hauled the luggage to the front door, and said, `I'll be back in the morning.'
    "`How did you know to pack my bags?' Betty asked.
    "`When my father died last month,' Rachel responded, `I was so overwhelmed that I didn't know what to do.  A friend came over and packed all our suitcases so we could fly home for the funeral.  I figured that would be a help to you, too.'
    "Rachel's personal loss strengthened her empathy for people like Betty.  She learned that the loss of a loved one is addressed more meaningfully through an act as simple as packing clothes."
5. Queen Victoria expressed sympathy when she heard that the wife of a common laborer had unexpectedly lost her baby.  Having experienced deep sorrow herself, she called on the bereaved woman and stayed with her for some time.  After she left, the neighbors asked what the royal visitor had said.  "The queen said nothing," replied the grieving mother.  "She simply put her hands on mine, and we silently wept together."
6. Sometimes that is all you can do and all they need.

B. God will always be there.

1. vs 5 of Heb 13 tells us that God will never leave us and that he will never forsake us.
2. There is a time, when everyone goes home and we have to be alone with our pain and loss.
3. But we aren’t alone.

a) God is always there.
b) He has his arms around us when we hurt the most.
c) He cries when we cry.

4. I don’t know how people manage to deal with despair without God in their lives.
5. Some losses and pain would drive us to insanity if it wasn’t for God’s comfort and hope that we have as Christians.

C. When We Can’t Say It, He Knows

1. As Christians, God has given to us the Holy Spirit.

a) Part of God is in each of us.
b) READ Rom 8:26-27
c) When we don’t know what to say, He speaks for us.
d) When we don’t know how to say it, He does.

A. The hardest part of despair is going on.

1. Most don’t want to, they want to give up.
2. In a hospital in Minnesota, there is a sign on a landing of a long set of stairs that says, “There are defining moments in life where one is faced with giving up or going on.
3. Giving up is easy.  Going on is very hard at times.
4. God promised not to give us more than we can bear.

a) at times that seems a lie.
b) but trust in his strength and comfort.
c) Never forget that he is with you always.

B. READ 2 Cor 1:3-7
C. God doesn’t always answer our prayers the way we want.

1. but he does hear them.
2. He does feel our pain.
3. He does care about us.
4. READ words to 291 - Does Jesus Care

A. Please God, please.

1. The cries of an anguished father.
2. The loss of a child.
3. The deep despair.

B. Please Father please,

1. the cries of an anguished son
2. The knowledge of a terrible death.
3. The strength to go on.

C. Please sinner please

1. The cries of an anguished father
2. The knowledge of a terrible death.
3. The strength to save.