Do I Have To Love Him?

Rom 12:9-21

The more I learn about Paul the more I think he was a closet psychologist or a parent. It’s phrases like the beginning of verse 9 that make me think this. Love must be sincere.

I have 2 girls who are 2 ½ years apart in age. The perfect age to really get on each other’s nerves. We have recently started the “idiot box” in our house. It’s a box that they have to put a quarter in every time they call each other an idiot. I might be able to retire in this idea. When I get in a fight, we do the parent thing and say, “now hug each other… and pretend you mean it.” Let’s face it, most of the time those gestures aren’t very sincere.

What does Paul mean when he says love must be sincere? Let’s look at that after our prayer.

PRAYER

I. Creating A Culture of Love

A. Love isn’t always sincere

1. We live in a world that uses the world love a lot, but sadly, it lacks sincerity.

2. We say we love our fellow man, but we don’t go out of our way to help them.

3. We say we love our spouses, but as soon as the feelings subside, we start looking for the next person.

a) A wealthy older man married a beautiful young woman. One day he began wondering if she only married him for his money, so he asked her a question. “If I lost all my money, would you still love me?” She looked him in the eyes and said, “oh honey, don’t be silly. Of course I would still love you… And I would miss you terribly.”

b) We laugh, but it has a ring of truth to it that we all recognize.

B. Turning things around

1. Paul gives the Roman readers some ideas to create sincere love. READ vs 9-10

a) Remember what word is most often used for love in the New Testament? Agape love. Looking out for what is best for the other.

b) These verses are a practical application of Agape.

2. Hate bad, cling to good.

3. Be devoted

a) The word here is the close relationship of a parent and child. The idea of cherishing each other.

b) Sincere love calls us to love each other like a close family.

c) If you come from a close family, you know exactly what I am talking about. It’s being there for each other no matter the time of day, no matter what is going on in your life. It’s a love that goes beyond explaining. Even when a parent or child is bad, and people ask “why do you put up with that?” The only reply is “she my child” It’s a love that defies explanation.

4. The next several qualities of sincere love revolve around our faith.

5. READ vs 11-13

a) To have a sincere love, you must have a sincere faith.

b) If you aren’t where you need to be spiritually, you won’t be able to practice sincere love because agape love comes from our faith.

c) Our faith needs to be zealous and fervent. Two very interesting words used by Paul

(1) Zealous means to have earnest care or diligence.

(2) Fervor carries the connotation of heating water to the point of boiling.

(3) Spiritual fervor then would mean that our spiritual life is aglow with the power God has given us that it’s about to explode.

6. The next several verse remind us that when we are practicing sincere love, there is no room for revenge.

7. READ vs 14-20

8. First we need to realize we need to make every effort to live in peace with those around us.

9. However, there are times when that doesn’t work. There is still conflict and hurt. What do you do then?

10. When I left Northeast, I was devastated by how I was treated by a couple of the elders. I was angry. I was hurt. And I wasn’t practicing sincere love. I wanted revenge, I wanted to hurt them like they had hurt me and it affected my faith for a while. It took almost a year before I could see either one of those men and not have all that bitter feeling well up in me. It took a lot of prayer and refocus on my part to put my spiritual life where it needed to be to practice sincere love. Until I got the spiritual aspect of my life together, I couldn’t love as God had commanded me.

11. Some of you know exactly what I am talking about.

12. It’s those times when we have to let God deal with them and trust that he will do the right thing at the right time.

13. You see, it’s not about my hurt, it’s about our souls. We lose that focus, God doesn’t.

14. verse 20 is a quote from Prov 25:21-22. If we practice the love God calls us to do, it will heap burning coals on our enemy’s head.

a) A better translation is that it will bring burning pangs of guilt and shame to them.

b) It’s the idea of letting God work on their hearts while we work on our hearts.

15. We need to do this because of the warning given in the last verse.

a) Don’t be overcome by evil. In other words, don’t late sin dictate your actions; overcome sin by doing what is right.

b) Practice sincere love.