Authentic Christianity: Relationships
1 Thess 2:7-12



We’re heading into our summer small group session.  One of the things that I want us to begin building on is authentic relationships.  Last year, we had some good small groups, but I don’t know if any crossed into building authentic relationships.  A couple came closer than the others.

Larry Crabb, a Christian author and counselor, is a huge advocate for building authentic relationships in small groups.  One frustrated minister he writes about sums up part of reason.  The man told Mr. Crabb.  “We’ve got to move to another level.  Good things are happening 8in our groups, butt not what most needs to happen, not what I somehow know could happen.  We arrange our bodies in a circle, but our souls are sitting in straight-backed chairs facing away from the others. ( point to circle of chairs all facing outwards)

We connect on a friendship level, we connect on Bible study, but we haven’t achieved that which matters most, Soul to soul connection, the connection that seemed to happen in Acts 2 and the early church.

This morning I want us to look at Authentic Christianity in regards to our relationships.

PRAYER

I.    The Purpose of Authentic Relationships
A.    Community
1.    Whenever we think of small groups or relationships, we think of community.
2.    A community is where people connect with each other.
3.    Rochester, Winamac, Plymouth are all communities.
a)    People live, work, and go to school with others from their community.
b)    They share similar values on many things.
c)    In tragedy they pull together as united group.
d)    That’s what communities do.
4.    Facebook and MySpace are online communities
a)    They do much the same thing that geographic communities do.
b)    The people involved all connect with a group that share similar values in one area or another.
5.    Churches are communities
a)    Think about our congregation.
b)    Who do we feel an obligation to help in difficult times?  Our fellow church members.
c)    Who do we surround with love and compassion during a tragedy?  Our fellow church members.
d)    We have a common bond in Christ that reaches across lines that would otherwise separate us.
e)    Paul recognized that in Gal 3:28 READ
B.    Transformed lives
1.    But community is only half the reason God wanted authentic relationships.
2.    The other side of that equation is that these relationships help build transformed lives.
3.    2 Pet 3:5-11 talks about need to transform our lives into what God would desire of us.
4.    Many passages echo that thought, but there are other passages that not only echo the thought, but encourages us to help our brothers and sisters transform their lives as well.
5.    Jas 5:19-20 tells us that when we bring someone back to what God desires, we have done an incredible thing.
6.    We’ve helped transform that life.
7.    Heb 3:12-14 alludes to the same thing.
C.    Authentic Relationships are the direct result of transformed lives.
1.    A spiritual family member who doesn’t like being around their brother and sisters is missing an essential component to transforming their life.
2.    We can’t spur one another on, we can’t encourage each other as the day draws near, we can’t do good to each other unless we are IN the lives of our brothers and sisters.
3.    Authentic relationships will help transform others and help us to be fully transformed into what God would desire us to be.
II.    Components of Authentic Relationships
A.    Self-Disclosure
1.    Bill Donohue and Russ Robinson say there 5 components need to build Authentic Relationships.
2.    Let me tell you from my personal experience, authentic relationships are hard because we have to make ourselves vulnerable.
3.    If you have ever been hurt, purposely making yourself vulnerable goes against every fiber of your good sense.
4.    But if the church does it right, these relationships are everything.
5.    It’s like a wonderful marriage.  It’s what we all dream of in our marriage. Listen to part of letter by Lyman Coleman one of the co-authors of the Serendipity Bible.  READ p.61
6.    God says that’s the intimacy I want in the church as well.
7.    We have to open ourselves up to each other to create that intimacy.
B.    Care Giving
1.    Not only do we need to know each other, we must love each other.
2.    1 Jn 3:17 says – (NLT) 17 If someone has enough money to live well and sees a brother or sister in need but shows no compassion—how can God’s love be in that person?
3.    Jn 15:13 says – (NLT) 13 There is no greater love than to lay down one’s life for one’s friends.
4.    What do we need to do to truly love each other?
5.    When we have a conversation, listen, don’t just hear.  Weep with those who weep, rejoice with those who rejoice.
C.    Humility
1.    It’s sometimes hard for me to be a servant.  It’s an area I am trying to grow in.
2.    It’s almost impossible for me to feel comfortable with being served.
3.    I understand why Peter didn’t like the idea of Jesus washing his feet.  But did you ever catch the beginning of that story? 
4.    Look at Jn 13:1 – He now showed them the FULL EXENT OF HIS LOVE.
5.    Jesus played the role of a servant to show them how much he loved them.
6.    They needed to allow him to do that to show HIM how much they loved him.
7.    Humility is the spirit in which we serve and are served.  It’s thinking of the other person and what their needs are.
8.    James tells us in Jas 1:27 to serve those who can’t repay us. 
9.    WHY? So we can do it for the right reasons, not for the pat on the back or our name in lights.
10.    There’s nothing wrong with being recognized for our service, just don’t do it for that reason.
D.    Truth-Telling
1.    You know you have reached a real relationship when you can be told a painful truth and know it was done from love.
2.    That’s part of admonishing and admonishing is tied to real church relationships throughout the New Testament.
3.    A while back I was complaining to Lisa about a situation and I said, “I probably have a bad attitude about this.” “she replied, I understand why you feel the way you do, but yes, you have a bad attitude about it.”  Our relationship was real enough that that didn’t offend me.  I thought about what she said and tried to make changes.
4.    An authentic relationship has to allow us to admonish one another and be admonished as needed.
5.    Not so we can stick it to someone, but so we can help each other in our spiritual journey.
E.    Affirmation
1.    Our culture is affirmation deprived.
2.    We hear a lot more of “just do your job” than we do, “You’ve done a great job for us.”
3.    When we people affirm us, it’s even more deeply felt because we hear it so rarely.
4.    Rom 12:15 reminds us to rejoice with those who rejoice.
5.    Eph 4:29 says – 29 Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen.
6.    We need to people of affirmation because of how God has affirmed us.
7.    It’s the icing on the cake of relationships.
F.    Conclusion
1.    (move chairs to all face each other)
2.    Let’s make sure that as we sit in a circle, whether as a small group or just Christian friends being together that our souls are facing each other, not just our faces.
3.    Let’s commit as a church to building authentic relationships.

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