The Power to Change

Matt 7:6-8

Larry Calvin in his book “The Power Zone” tells a very unique story. One day a couple comes into his office for counseling. They hardly introduced themselves when the husband pulls out a sheet of paper and gives it to Dr. Calvin. “here you go doc, here’s what wrong with her. Fix her.” Then walks out of the office. Needless to say, it wasn’t the most productive counseling session he had ever had.

How many of us really feel the same way as this man? We want to fix or change those around us. It might be a boss who is taking the company in a wrong direction when you have the answer to make the company thrive. It might be older children who are making terrible decisions that will lead to a dead end street. You want to stop them before they go over the edge. Maybe it’s a mate who has a bad habit you want to break.

What does God have to say about those who won’t listen to our words of wisdom?

PRAYER

I. Pearls in the pigpen

A. When I want to change someone, it’s easy to think of my wisdom as pearls in a Pigpen

1. When I was in college, it seemed like all the good girls wanted to date guys that were real scum. I confronted one friend about and asked why she liked this guy so much when he was such a looser? Her response, she felt that once they were married she could change him into a better person. Years later, I was talking with a mutual friend of ours and guess what, she never could change him. Now she is married to a guy who will probably never be what she hoped he would be.

2. In ministry, you can’t even count the times that I have wanted to walk down this aisle and drag someone to the front to give their lives to Christ or repent of sins I know they need to deal with.

3. Countless times the elders and I have agonized about someone’s spiritual condition and their lack of desire to change it.

4. You finally realize that the reality of life is that you cannot force people to change no matter how good your intention or how strong your desire to do so.

B. Dr. Calvin say he repeats three phrases whenever he is tempted to try to change someone.

1. I cannot force change in the decisions of others

2. I cannot force change in the behaviors of others

3. I cannot force change in the attitudes of others.

4. I can encourage change, but I don’t have the power to make others change.

5. Since I can’t make them change, I am also not responsible for making it happen.

6. They will be the ones who will have to stand before God someday and give an account of their lives.

C. People are going to reject advice even when it is the perfect advice.

1. They did it to Jesus and they sure are going to do it to us.

2. So we should try to help, but if rejected, we have enough of our own things that need changing to keep wasting our time worrying about someone else.

3. Helene and I have people very close to us who just refuse to listen to anything we have to say about Christianity. In fact, they get openly hostile when we try to talk to them.

4. All you can do at that point is pray that someday they will make the changes that are needed.

II. Ask

A. If we can’t force others to change, who do we control?

1. The obvious answer is ME.

2. I can change MY attitudes, behaviors and decision.

3. Jesus gives us an idea how to do that in the last part of our passage.

B. We need to spend time in prayer to God

1. Jas 1:5 says “if any one of you lacks wisdom, let me ask it of God.”

2. We need to pray daily to God for wisdom in dealing with our own lives the lives of others.

3. Does the name George McCluskey ring a bell? Probably not. He was never on the evening news, never had any biographies written about his life. He was simply a man who at a certain point in his life decided to make a shrewd investment. After he got married and started a family, he purposed to spend an hour a day in prayer. He prayed faithfully that his children would come to Christ and when they grew up that they would establish godly homes. After a while George began praying not only for his children but for their children, and for their children, too. Each day from 11 o'clock till noon, George would pray for the next three generations. Years passed, and his daughters grew up and married men who went into the ministry. Between them, these two couples ended up having four daughters and one son. The young man became a pastor and each of the girls married preachers. The first two children born in this generation were boys. After finishing high school, the two cousins went away to the same college and became roommates. One of them decided to enter the ministry. The other fellow felt some pressure because of the family legacy, but he chose not to become a pastor. You might even say he was something of a black sheep in the family since he was the first one in four generations who didn't go into full-time Christian ministry. The field he chose was psychology. He eventually completed his doctorate, and later wrote a book about parenting that became a best- seller. Today that "black sheep" is heard on thousands of radio stations every day around the world and is the head of a well-known ministry to families. His name is James Dobson, and his ministry is the direct result of the prayers of a man who lived four generations ago. [Point Man by Steve Farrar. Multnomah, 1990. Pages 154-155.]

III. Seek

A. If you want a modern word for seek in “seek and you shall find” try using the word proactive.

1. Jesus says to step out and do something.

2. We need to pray and ask God for answers, but then we need to seek his answer.

3. We would rather sit back and wait for everything to happen, but that isn’t what God told us to do.

4. SEEK and you shall find.

IV.Knock

A. Something interesting to note when you look at what Jesus has to say when he talks about knocking.

1. You see in his stories persistence.

2. When I was in college, we had to run every day for soccer. 3 long miserable miles. I hated every step of the way. In a game, I could run all day, but make me run just for the sake of running, I hated it! Yet, if I wanted to play I knew I had to run. Even after 4 seasons I didn’t like running, but every day I did it.

B. Our spiritual walk, needs that same persistence.

1. I can’t tell you how often I hear people say, “I planned to be at church more, but it’s just so hard to get in that routine.” Yes, if you aren’t in the routine, it’s hard, but you need to plan to do it anyway.

2. keep knocking and the door will open, I can promise you that because God promises that.