THE FRUIT OF THE SPIRIT IS SELF-CONTROL

Prov 25:28

Shortly after W.W.I a pilot made his living going to small towns and giving people a ride in his plane. One day he got in an argument with a farmer on whether or not he could take his wife up with him for free. Exasperated with the farmer, the pilot said, “look, I’ll take you both up for the price of one, but if you make ONE sound, you will have to pay me double. “ The farmer and pilot shook on the deal and they got into the plane. The pilot put his plane through all kinds of crazy and dangerous maneuvers but not a single sound from the back. Finally he landed the plane looked back at he farmer and said, “ Well, you win. I don’t know how you could keep from screaming. I scared myself up there.” The old farmer said, “Well, you almost got me. I almost said something when my wife fell out of the plane.”

Now that is self-control.

Lack of self control is a problem in our society. We want to have it and have it now. Materialism, road rage, adultery, drug abuse, and many other areas. We want immediate gratification -- we cannot control ourselves. Kind of like this video. WATCH

Sadly it is in our churches as well. Many of us wonder why we can’t break that bad habit or sinful behavior. We are Christians, we have the Holy Spirit working in us and still we struggle. It might be weight problems, it might be spending problems, time management, saying no to temptations. There are all kinds of self-control issues we fight and struggle with on a daily basis.

This morning I will share with you 5 basic steps to follow in developing self control in your lives.

PRAYER

I. Admit You Have a Problem

A. We must take responsibility for our lack of self-control

1. Jas. 1:14 but each one is tempted when, by his own evil desire, he is dragged away and enticed.

2. Notice where the source of temptation comes from.

a) It’s not as Flip Wilson said, “The devil made me do it.

b) It’s not because of my dysfunctional parents and background.

c) It’s not because of my past, my hurt, my... you can fill in whatever blank you want.

3. The source of our lack of self-control is US!

4. We need to take personal responsibility for what we are.

5. If you want to have control back. Start off by admitting up front that you have a problem.

B. We want to blame someone else

1. Our talk shows are full of people who want to blame everyone else but themselves for their problems in life.

2. Our courts are the same way.

3. And if you don’t take it public you justify it in other ways

a) What problem?

b) I can quit anytime I want.

c) That’s just the way I am.

d) It’s not that big of a deal.

4. And so we rationalize it away rather than take responsibility for our problems.

5. God says the problem is right here in my heart.

6. It’s my own evil desire.

7. Are you lacking self control in your life?

8. Start by admitting the sin and start taking responsibility for it.

II. Forget Your Past

A. We need to put our past behind us and look forward to what God can do in our lives.

1. Philippians 3:13-14 (NLT) ¹³No, dear brothers and sisters, I have not achieved it, but I focus on this one thing: Forgetting the past and looking forward to what lies ahead, ¹⁴I press on to reach the end of the race and receive the heavenly prize for which God, through Christ Jesus, is calling us.

2. If we dwell on our past and its failures we won’t be able to overcome them.

3. My fishing trip this week consisted of 5 preachers a preacher’s son and the step-son of a preacher. The first couple of days we spent talking about all the things that are wrong with the church today. After realizing that wasn’t healthy, we made a concerted effort one night to talk about what was good about the church. One of the guys kept going back to some things that had happened in the past. Finally my brother stopped him and said, “Look you’re right. Bad things happened. But it’s done and now it’s time to move forward.”

a) We can take that same attitude with our sins. We CAN move past our past.

b) We need to be reminded that God has dealt with that past and now we need to work on the present.

B. If we look to a future with God’s strength and forgiveness in it, we can overcome whatever we choose to.

1. No matter how many times you have failed, try again and this time admit your need for God and focus on what he can do instead of what you can’t do.

III. Don’t Let Your Emotions Control You

A. We put way too much emphasis on our emotions today.

1. It just feels right, so it is right.

2. I shouldn’t do something unless I feel good about it.

3. Those are both erroneous statements.

4. Feeling cannot be our guide in life.

a) I don’t feel like going to work every morning.

b) I don’t feel like studying for school.

c) I don’t feel like being nice or good.

5. We can never justify actions simply because of feelings.

6. Most murders are crimes of passion. Emotions got the best of someone and they murdered someone close to them. Do we just say, “well, it’s not his fault he just felt like he should murder his wife and children.”

7. That would be a fatal defense in court and it’s just as fatal in our spiritual lives.

B. Following our emotions can get us in trouble

1. My feelings say I want another drink, I want an affair, I want to spend the whole day just watching TV.

2. Following emotions can lead us in the opposite direction of self-control.

3. READ Tit. 2:11-12

4. The grace of God teaches us to say no to our passions, our feeling and desires.

5. We don’t have to give in. We can resist. We can say no.

a) Believe it or not, but we aren’t an animal that has no control over our feelings and desire.

b) God has put within us the ability to practice self-control regardless of what pop psychology says.

IV. Avoid Temptation

A. We need to avoid the things that are tempting us.

1. If I love ice cream and am trying to lose weight, it doesn’t make much sense to keep a gallon of ice cream around the house all the time does it?

2. If I am tempted by pornography I need to make sure I don’t put myself in places and situations where I am tempted by it.

B. The Bible teaches we are to run from temptation.

1. Don’t give Satan the opportunity.

2. Stay away from areas where you know you are tempted in life.

3. Robert Orrin once said “Most people want to be delivered from temptation but would like to keep in touch.”

4. A man I know is in the process of coming back to God after a very long absence. He is living with the mother of his children. He loves her, but they haven’t gotten married. Now they are struggling in their relationship and are trying to work with a church to get back on track. While he was separated he met a young lady and complicated his life even more. Now that he is trying to revive his relationship he has split with the young lady. However, he still keeps pictures of her on his phone and she still calls him on occasion. I told him if he ever wants to save his relationship, he has to cut off all ties with the young lady, including the pictures on his phone.

5. You can’t keep flirting with temptation. It’s like playing Russian Roulette. You will lose if you play long enough.

V. Depend on Christ’s Power

A. You can’t do it on your own

1. I cannot tell you how many people have told me that once they get their life together, they will be back in church or that they will become Christians.

2. Without Christ, you cannot get your life together.

3. We need his strength, his power to transform our lives.

B. The most important area of self control is depending on God’s power

1. If we are going to have any chance in overcoming temptation, we MUST rely on Christ’s power.

2. Gal 5:16 So I say, live by the Spirit, and you will not gratify the desires of the sinful nature.

3. Watch how this verse is laid out.

a) It doesn’t say that if you have the spirit you won’t have any fleshly desires.

b) No it says that the Christian has the promise that with the Holy Spirit we CAN OVERCOME those desires.